Honesty is the Best Policy (So They Say)
Not asking for much - 27
Date: 2004-12-13, 9:15PM EST
YOU: A suave and sophisticated Adonis with dark hair and green eyes, olive skin and an exquisite bone structure. Must be tall, lean and toned with endless stamina (both sexual and intellectual), sparkling wit, flawless logic, a doctorate degree and an impeccable sense of dress. Some sort of accent is essential--I love men with poor pronunciation. Must take charge without being domineering, and while maintaining a heart of pure, molten gold. Likes kittens and dark chocolate. Well-travelled is a plus, as is a healthy interest in sports as recreation, but with a preference for intelligent fireside conversation over fine French wine and amuse-bouches.
ME: None of the above but with an exaggerated sense of entitlement. I may not be beautiful, smart or witty but, by virtue of my existence, I damn well deserve someone who is.
Total Number of Replies: 22
Number of Serious Replies: 18
Cream of the Crop:
No matter how specific your requirements are, you still only get ball-park estimates. Sometimes they're not even ball-park estimates, sometimes they're so far out of the ball-park that they're in fucking Ukraine, where they don't play baseball and instead spend their time on foreign, un-American exploits like rigging elections and demanding recounts.
"Would you settle for a smart-ass, charming, intelligent, middle traveled, and healthy guy. One who played in the mud for 8 years as a Marine, then decided to be a geek and build computer networks for the government. "
No.
"One who is not crazy about cats, but somehow got suckered into taking one home found in southeast due to its visible ribs and pathetic meow. One who has lost his Bostonian accent but could probably produce one on demand (well as least request)."
Bostonian accent? Um, yeah. Sexy.
"One who does not have a doctorate, but is really bright anyways. One who can be strong without being controlling. One who owns a suit but would much rather wear jeans and sneakers. One who exercises regularly (read joined softball league, managed to somehow get injured 3 times, two that require trips to the hospital, and still stuck with it) and runs twice a week. One with light brown hair (all there) and sometimes green/sometimes blue/sometimes grey eyes. One who can actually make an edible meal (though not too many). One who has found the best ice cream on the planet (has dark chocolate in it)."
One who found an opportunity to brag and went for gold.
"One who (and this is the one that should push me over the edge) will actually 1) admit that he is not sure how to get somewhere and 2) actually stop and ASK for directions! Yes that’s right, you read correctly, ASK for directions!"
I don't know why men act like it's such a big deal when actually they ask for directions. Listen, if you want to drive around in circles for hours because you're too proud to ask someone who lives in the neighborhood, go right ahead.
"Act now because this kind of opportunity does not come by often."
It comes by every time I refresh the m4w page on Craigslist.
"And don’t worry; we’ll get that exaggerated sense of self entitlement fixed quickly."
Because you'll make me feel small and worthless?
"Oh, and we will work on your spelling too!"
Oh, fuck you (I mispelled "existence" as "existance" in the first ad). You're the one responding to an obviously fake Craigslist ad. Twat.
"yes, dark hair and blue/green eyes. adonis i don't know though myprofile resembles those on greek coins...not so much bone structure -- maybe if i ate less. like to talk and ideas so plenty of intellect pseudo or otherwise..."
"I really hope your tongue was firmly in your cheek when you wrote that....I think you read one too many male ads and got severely annoyed."
Not annoyed. Never annoyed. Merely...jaded.
"While I may be agauche, ugly and out of wits, I I can still hold interest of mostdemading people."
"wow.. is there anything else that you like? i hold my own very well, but your xmas wish list sets me back a bit."
No. You can be a paranoid schizophrenic as long as you can fulfil all the other attributes. I'm Wiccan.
"I like your add and what you want so let's give it a try. I am 31. Originally from Europe, have a law degree there and a telecommunication company here. I'm 5'7. Like swimming and diving. Good dancer (partenership dancing "70-'80 and modern music). Never married, no children."
"I’ve got at least 17 out of 23, depending on how you’re counting. I think that deserves a picture, especially since I’m attaching a half-picture of myself"
The half of his face he showed was good looking. I bet he has an enormous hairy mole on his chin. Or no mouth.
"IF ONLY I DIDN'T LOSE MY ACCENT. DAMN"
"I have a Ph.D in Economics, love sports, and intelligent conversation. I have an olive complexion, dress well, and I have endless sexual and intellectual stamina. My parents were born and raised in Greece, so an accent is part of the family. I love kittens and I am a very kind and considerate person. "
Not so much the Adonis part, though.
"At least your honest, good luck with it, if you feel like mingling with the Masters educated riff raff drop me a line"
"YOU'RE," GOD DAMN IT!
"Lady:
You are asking for double standards. Not that it would be unconscionable,or anything, but that's what we see a lot: bloated women asking for the sky. Well, that's where your pie will remain.
No sympathy."
Double standards? What tipped you off?
"Hi,You're probably a very nice person and your writing style is entertaining. I hate to break it to you, but, your ad comes off as "asking for everything."Most guys on CL are just average (even the ones who think they are god's gift)"
I wouldn't exactly describe Craigslist guys as average ("You must be into backdoor sex and all that goes with it," "You should like to be spanked,told how to dress and and more...and if you're good, you should expect even more")
"P.S: Do not be intimidated by the muscles. I used to be in professional bodybuilding."
He looks like a barge covered in shiny skin.
Date: 2004-12-13, 9:15PM EST
YOU: A suave and sophisticated Adonis with dark hair and green eyes, olive skin and an exquisite bone structure. Must be tall, lean and toned with endless stamina (both sexual and intellectual), sparkling wit, flawless logic, a doctorate degree and an impeccable sense of dress. Some sort of accent is essential--I love men with poor pronunciation. Must take charge without being domineering, and while maintaining a heart of pure, molten gold. Likes kittens and dark chocolate. Well-travelled is a plus, as is a healthy interest in sports as recreation, but with a preference for intelligent fireside conversation over fine French wine and amuse-bouches.
ME: None of the above but with an exaggerated sense of entitlement. I may not be beautiful, smart or witty but, by virtue of my existence, I damn well deserve someone who is.
Total Number of Replies: 22
Number of Serious Replies: 18
Cream of the Crop:
No matter how specific your requirements are, you still only get ball-park estimates. Sometimes they're not even ball-park estimates, sometimes they're so far out of the ball-park that they're in fucking Ukraine, where they don't play baseball and instead spend their time on foreign, un-American exploits like rigging elections and demanding recounts.
"Would you settle for a smart-ass, charming, intelligent, middle traveled, and healthy guy. One who played in the mud for 8 years as a Marine, then decided to be a geek and build computer networks for the government. "
No.
"One who is not crazy about cats, but somehow got suckered into taking one home found in southeast due to its visible ribs and pathetic meow. One who has lost his Bostonian accent but could probably produce one on demand (well as least request)."
Bostonian accent? Um, yeah. Sexy.
"One who does not have a doctorate, but is really bright anyways. One who can be strong without being controlling. One who owns a suit but would much rather wear jeans and sneakers. One who exercises regularly (read joined softball league, managed to somehow get injured 3 times, two that require trips to the hospital, and still stuck with it) and runs twice a week. One with light brown hair (all there) and sometimes green/sometimes blue/sometimes grey eyes. One who can actually make an edible meal (though not too many). One who has found the best ice cream on the planet (has dark chocolate in it)."
One who found an opportunity to brag and went for gold.
"One who (and this is the one that should push me over the edge) will actually 1) admit that he is not sure how to get somewhere and 2) actually stop and ASK for directions! Yes that’s right, you read correctly, ASK for directions!"
I don't know why men act like it's such a big deal when actually they ask for directions. Listen, if you want to drive around in circles for hours because you're too proud to ask someone who lives in the neighborhood, go right ahead.
"Act now because this kind of opportunity does not come by often."
It comes by every time I refresh the m4w page on Craigslist.
"And don’t worry; we’ll get that exaggerated sense of self entitlement fixed quickly."
Because you'll make me feel small and worthless?
"Oh, and we will work on your spelling too!"
Oh, fuck you (I mispelled "existence" as "existance" in the first ad). You're the one responding to an obviously fake Craigslist ad. Twat.
"yes, dark hair and blue/green eyes. adonis i don't know though myprofile resembles those on greek coins...not so much bone structure -- maybe if i ate less. like to talk and ideas so plenty of intellect pseudo or otherwise..."
"I really hope your tongue was firmly in your cheek when you wrote that....I think you read one too many male ads and got severely annoyed."
Not annoyed. Never annoyed. Merely...jaded.
"While I may be agauche, ugly and out of wits, I I can still hold interest of mostdemading people."
"wow.. is there anything else that you like? i hold my own very well, but your xmas wish list sets me back a bit."
No. You can be a paranoid schizophrenic as long as you can fulfil all the other attributes. I'm Wiccan.
"I like your add and what you want so let's give it a try. I am 31. Originally from Europe, have a law degree there and a telecommunication company here. I'm 5'7. Like swimming and diving. Good dancer (partenership dancing "70-'80 and modern music). Never married, no children."
"I’ve got at least 17 out of 23, depending on how you’re counting. I think that deserves a picture, especially since I’m attaching a half-picture of myself"
The half of his face he showed was good looking. I bet he has an enormous hairy mole on his chin. Or no mouth.
"IF ONLY I DIDN'T LOSE MY ACCENT. DAMN"
"I have a Ph.D in Economics, love sports, and intelligent conversation. I have an olive complexion, dress well, and I have endless sexual and intellectual stamina. My parents were born and raised in Greece, so an accent is part of the family. I love kittens and I am a very kind and considerate person. "
Not so much the Adonis part, though.
"At least your honest, good luck with it, if you feel like mingling with the Masters educated riff raff drop me a line"
"YOU'RE," GOD DAMN IT!
"Lady:
You are asking for double standards. Not that it would be unconscionable,or anything, but that's what we see a lot: bloated women asking for the sky. Well, that's where your pie will remain.
No sympathy."
Double standards? What tipped you off?
"Hi,You're probably a very nice person and your writing style is entertaining. I hate to break it to you, but, your ad comes off as "asking for everything."Most guys on CL are just average (even the ones who think they are god's gift)"
I wouldn't exactly describe Craigslist guys as average ("You must be into backdoor sex and all that goes with it," "You should like to be spanked,told how to dress and and more...and if you're good, you should expect even more")
"P.S: Do not be intimidated by the muscles. I used to be in professional bodybuilding."
He looks like a barge covered in shiny skin.
posted by Laura at 1:44 PM
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